If only there was an escape. The suffering is ceaseless,it is long,it is merciless, it taunts you with the hope of escape...The escape is a mirage.You know it is not real. Yet, like a caged dog to an open door, you go after it...instinctively, because it is the only thing that can keep you alive. The hope the chance,the bright light to save you from chaos.
It is an illusion. it taunts you, it mocks you. It shows you what never was and what never will be.
How long can one mistake haunt you. How long can the same thought turn over and over in a person's mind. What I would not give to escape....if for just one year, one week one day. To breathe just one full breath. To go back to how it was before.... and change everything.
The isolation made unbearable by the burden. The burden made unbearable by the isolation, yet it continues. It is my battle to fight alone. Amidst a world that will never understand. It is the bed I have made, and now I am left to lie in it.
To never feel comfort in my own skin, to know something is wrong, and I am the one who did it to myself. To never be at rest, to never fully breathe. To never be fully present or alive. It never stops. If only there were an escape, I dream I dream... one year, one month, one day...if only.