We all understand when we see a man who is a "great catch" with a
gorgeous woman, it makes sense, all seems right in the world, but what about
when we see the opposite? I want you to put aside what the media says on
this subject and look realistically at your own life. The idea that men are only
obsessed with looks is simply not true. Do not get me wrong, men don’t want a
woman who is ugly, but looks are simply a perk and not the determining factors
for most men in relationships. Think of all the men you know who have casual
encounters with many beautiful women only to never call them again, then you
look at that same man two years later and he is married to a woman who is
relatively plain in appearance. I’m sure all of us know at least one man who
fits into this category. The answer to
this phenomenon is simple. Regardless of all the stereotypes out there, men to
this day still DO truly care about what is on the inside, and the ones who
don’t, you are not likely to be interested in anyway.
While men may SAY and truly believe they want women who are
all dolled up and spend hours on their appearance, the reality is that women
who are not obsessed with shopping, fixing their hair, and caring for their
appearance are often more confident and independent than their vain
counterparts. Men SAY they want a beauty, but secretly wonder who the “dolled
up” woman is trying to impress, and it ruins the chase for them. More plain women must rely on their virtue,
intelligence, and kindness to attract men, and therefore attract men who are
looking for wives or serious relationships because those are qualities men want
to carry on throughout the generations (yes even more than good genes). Women
who treat themselves as objects, wearing short skirts, loads of makeup, and
spend hours fixing their hair, end up getting treated as objects. Often these
women are admired for their beauty, and no matter how untrue it may be, because
of their looks, men assume they are not “serious” potential life partners.
Due to years of cheerleading, sorority life, and work as a
part time actress, I have been surrounded by beautiful women most of my adult
life. Throughout my years of observation I began to see a pattern develop, the
most beautiful women I knew never seemed to have a shortage of “male problems”
and heartache. I saw it time and time again, the class beauty would observe in shock,
as the man they adored would leave them in leiu of a chubbier, plainer girl who
had a “frumpy” sense of fashion. All
this after the beautiful girl had done “everything right” spending hours at the
gym, confining themselves to the strictest of diets, and obsessing over their
clothes and appearance.
One theory explaining this is discussed in “why men marry
some women and not others” by John T Molloy. Men would have to worry more about
the attractive woman cheating on them, and know there will always be other men
vying for the beautiful women’s affection. You always know in the back of your mind other
guys want her. So when it comes to settling down, men aren’t necessarily
looking for the most attractive woman, but one who will be faithful. By the very fact a woman does not put “much
thought” into her outward appearance, it shows she is not looking for
attention, and therefore less likely to stray. (Again, I am not saying any of this is true,
but what men subconsciously think and judge).
Askmen.com did an article titled, “An Ugly Wife: The Benefits” The article served as a way to explain, how a
man can date so many gorgeous women, yet end up marrying a woman who is merely
attractive or even less than average. Here are a few of the reasons the article
gave.
1) A benefit of marrying a more plain woman is that she will
be more likely to appreciate you, as she doesn’t feel entitled or expectant of
your attention the way a beautiful woman would.
2. You will be seen as more genuine, as people will think
you are the kind of guy who cares about inner beauty.
3. A good personality –She will have to develop a personality, this
can also be found in late bloomers. The
models I was friends with had no desire or need to “work on their personality”
as men flocked to them, when you get
constant reinforcement through laughs and kind gestures from men, on every
social outing you go on, it makes it difficult and far less imminent of a need
to work on ones personality. Hence why the men would ALWAYS be immediately
drawn to them, only to stop calling and go for another girl a mere few weeks
later. Under all the beauty there is often times simply no substance.
4. She is more likely to have similar interests. Women who are
gorgeous often come from families who put a lot of thought into appearance and
beauty, hair products, surgeries, pageants, balls etc. Women who are more plain
tend to value other things and come from families who do as well. A plain woman
may be extremely devoted to her religion, extremely passionate about a
political cause etc. While the beauty
can entertain a man for a time, when it comes to picking a life partner, these
things are extremely important to a man. If it comes down to it, a man would
gladly choose a woman who shares his faith and interests and activities over a
woman who is beautiful but which he has nothing in common with.
In the end, despite all the media hype and stereotypes Men
are just humans looking for love and companionship in a mate. They truly do
look for qualities such as virtue, whether or not a woman will be a good
mother, kindness, and compatibility. If
you are a beautiful woman this is not an article “dogging” you, Men would LOVE to have a beautiful wife,
but not at the expense of more important qualities.
An exception is in the case of obesity. While a man may not
mind a few extra pounds, ( Trust me Brandon sticks by my side regardless of if
I am 100lbs or 120lbs) most men, whether they are a “great guy” or a “shallow
guy” do not want to be with a morbidly obese or even regularly obese woman,
ESPECIALLY when looking for a life mate as those dangerous and destructive
eating habits could be passed on to further generations, and can highly effect
the kind of lifestyle and activities a couple can share.
This has shown to be evident in my own life as well, while I
certainly think I am attractive, I am by no means a model or dropdead gorgeous.
However Brandon has dated Hawaiian tropics models, models, gorgeous women who
are 6 feet tall, and all around very beautiful women who are ten times more
attractive than me. Yet when it came to who he wanted
to share his life with, he chose me. Why? Because he truly values the interests
that we share, he values that we come from similar backgrounds, and that he can
talk to me and feel at ease with me. So there you have it, for those of you who
have wondered why men simply don’t just marry the prettiest girl they’ve dated,
its because they are looking for more than that. What a nice surprise.
If You would like to read more on this subject, I have attached a few interesting articles below.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2063997/Too-sexy-laid-independent--Why-women-just-ARENT-wife-material.html
http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/152214/why_men_marry_some_women
If You would like to read more on this subject, I have attached a few interesting articles below.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2063997/Too-sexy-laid-independent--Why-women-just-ARENT-wife-material.html
http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/152214/why_men_marry_some_women
